It's a Miracle

I don't read. Ok, I do, but I don't love it. I read the Bible because I love God a lot. But I don't like reading. Last year I had the opportunity to read a book and study it together with a friend. We read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

I loved the message of the book, but struggled with the writing style of the author. Regardless, I finished the book. That's an accomplishment for me considering reading is not how I like to spend my time.

So it is a miracle that I'm reading two books right now.  I'm currently reading Love Does, by Bob Goff. and Deep and Wide by Andy Stanley.

I have a note on my iPhone called "Quotes". I love a good quote that reminds me how I want to live my life. In Love Does, I found a quote that is such a good reminder. It says,

I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.

I'm the type of person who fears failure. I know I will fail, but I always strive to do the right thing...preventing failure. This quote does two things for me. It reminds me that I still have room to grow. I can easily still focus on the failure rather than focusing on the things in life that are more important.

The other thing this quote reminds me is that everything has a purpose. Are you doing what you should be doing? Are you the best you can be?

I never want to be in a position where I have success in things that don't matter. I want to live my life with purpose and to glorify my Maker.

Late to the Game

Growing up, I preferred listening to 'Hot 96 dot 3". This was the station for rap, pop hits and all things 90's. This is where I found a love for Ja Rule, Salt-N-Pepa, J.Lo, Dr. Dre, Busta Rhymes, the list goes on. Perhaps it was attending a very culturally diverse high school that drove me to love music that my parents didn't listen to. (I'll admit, I loved the Beach Boys, Richard Marx and everything else that was on 97.1, at the time, hits of the 70's, 80's and today.) But my preferences were the rough, 'gangsta' stuff, if you will.

One thing I did not listen to, with the exception of Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith, was Christian music. At my school and with my friends, that was not the hip thing.  Also, I didn't love the sounds of DC Talk, Audio Adrenaline, and all the other 90's bands at the time.

So it's no surprise I'm probably late to the game when it comes to Christian music. I probably have an affinity with female singers who sing wonderful ballads, or melodic tunes that lift up my spirits. I am maybe a typical 90's teenage girl who made the transition from rap to pop and still love the cheesy songs.

Regardless, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love songs like "The Prayer" by Josh Groban and Celine Dion. BTW, Celine was a staple in my upbringing. (Thank you Clueless, "All By Myself" and Titanic). My guilty pleasure remains with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. My heart still melts with a good Michael Bolton song. So music connoisseur, I am not.

For the last couple of years, I have really been into Natalie Grant. Some say obsessed because I follow her on Instagram and I tweeted her a bunch before she came to Muncie. But the truth is I am encouraged by her, what she posts, how she lives her life; and I want to surround myself with people like that.

There is a song that Natalie Grant sings called "Perfect People". This has resonated with me for the last year.

The lyrics are:
Never let Him see you when you're breaking
And never let Him see you when you fall
That's how we live
And that's how we try.

Tell the world you've got it all together
And never let Him see what's underneath
We cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while.

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God.

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again, no.


There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God.

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see love
And let grace be enough.

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God.

I think I connect with this song because the description is what I've dealt with nearly my entire relationship with God. I've wanted to appear that I have it all together. I think that's a normal coping mechanism when we are constantly told by society that we're just not good enough.

But more importantly, we (attempt to) hide "it" from the One being who can ease all the worries, calm our hearts and help us feel loved more than anything else. We hide who we are from God. We believe we can't approach him until it's all sorted out, until our life is perfect. (BTW, we'll never get there.) We beat ourselves down because we aren't as beautiful, don't dress as nicely, can't afford this,  aren't at this place of life yet, ....whatever it is you tell yourself.

I love this song because at the end of the bridge, it's a reminder that grace is enough. We keep trying to manage, we keep trying to prove that we can be perfect when we never really get there. And because we never get there...we never fully allow Him to be enough. Despite my failures...and there will be more in the future, I'm sure... God sees me as perfect as I need to be. When I am beating myself down, He reminds me that I am enough.

I am empowered to share this message because I know we can't do it on our own. Too often we try. Too often we put conditions around how and when we can approach Him. Let me tell you, I tried that. It doesn't work. I am empowered to share this message because sometimes the message that is louder is how much of a mess we are and that we need Him. I don't disagree with that. We constantly compromise who we were meant to be.  But I believe we serve a God who loves deeply. He loves us so much. And that true love is also a message of hope. It's a message that despite the ugliness, He hasn't run out of grace. 

See, there are two types of people it seems. People who need knocked off their high horse and shown that they need a God. And there are people who need reminded that the ugly is covered by His blood. Sometimes we flow back and forth between categories, but the important thing is that we remember to "let grace be enough".