Grief

We have all experienced bad things in life. Perhaps they were a result of our own bad choices, perhaps we were just indirectly affected by someone else's bad choice. Regardless, there isn't a person who has walked this Earth without experiencing pain, hurt and even death. 

I ran across something the other day that said this:

"Accepting, allowing and embracing the grieving process is not only healthy, it is part of life and living efficiently. Grief must come to its own ending. We can't force it into our schedule."

I have run into a few people who act like the world is perfect. I know their intention is good and to inspire hope within another person. But sometimes it comes across insensitive. I've learned, though, that I can sometimes be that person. If someone comes to me with problems, concerns, pain, I immediately become the "fix it" person with a positive attitude and assurance of hope. 

But I am reminding myself of the times when I'm in the other shoes... when I'm grieving...when I'm in pain. While I know the hope that is there for me. My Savior has promised me life - a life (beyond the pain of this world) of fulfillment and peace. I know in the midst of my grief that when it is time for me to be with my Heavenly Father, all will be restored. Sometimes, though, it is difficult to get through situations in life. 

I was thinking about my friend who recently miscarried her second child. She was past the first trimester and all seemed fine until she went in for a routine ultrasound when she learned her baby had passed. Sometimes we just can't force ourselves to be done with the grieving process. It's not healthy and efficient for us.  I think if we are to force it, it just resurfaces and enables a roller coaster of good and bad moments. When we let the grieving process happen, we will still experience good and bad days, but we allow the healing and restoration that God gives us in HIS time. 

So I've felt challenged recently to be more aware that grieving happens in different ways for different people. While our intentions are probably good to help a sister or brother see the light, sometimes God gives us the opportunity to just 'be there' for them. Sometimes we're brought together to allow God work in His wonderful ways intertwining two people who would not otherwise connect. Keeping in mind that we shouldn't try to rush the grieving process. Sometimes we should just listen and care and love and be that shoulder to cry on. 

A month makes for a long post

I received a friendly reminder from a friend who said I hadn’t blogged in a while. Boy, she’s right. My last blog was on November 3^rd…it’s December 9^th! Oops! I absolutely love blogging. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally, it is a great thing for me. The problem is finding time. Lame excuse, I know. But true nonetheless.

So let’s do a quick update:

1.       Christmas

It is right around the corner!

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the fellowship, attitudes, joy and quality time that happens around Christmas. There is really nothing about Christmas, winter, snow, cold, cookies, friends, family, presents, Jesus’ birth, music …that I don’t like.  I’m taking off work, well roughly 6 days in between Christmas and New Years.  I am looking forward to time off, though it seems our schedule is already filling up (which isn’t surprising knowing us.)  I hope to have some quality time with Adam where we can play in the yard/snow with the dogs, sip hot cocoa in front of the fireplace and relax… ahhh.

2.       Lymphangioma

       Lymphangioma is a condition/issue I have and had really since I was created. Basically, when I was developing prior to birth, my lymphatic vessels didn’t fully develop resulting in the lymphatic fluid to not secrete properly. (Side note: Secrete is a nasty sounding word but it’s the only thing I can think of. Sorry.) Therefore, what’s happening is the lymphatic fluid collects in little sacs. Typically, Lymphangioma is present in children, young children (around age 2) and is found in the neck. Of course, I am not ‘typical’ when it comes to health so here I am at 28 dealing with this.  Actually, three years ago, I had surgery on my right shoulder to remove the Lymphangioma. My doctor believes he must not have removed it all as it has reappeared and that is common when not all of it is removed.  My hope is that my Dr. will be a bit more diligent as I am having surgery in mid-January for the removal of this occurrence. It happens to be on the same shoulder but in a little different area.  I handled the surgery and recovery very well last time and expect nothing less this time. J

3.       Smoking

I have to share about this. A very important person in my life quit smoking recently. This has been one of the major highlights of my month.  I am not a smoking ‘hater’ if you will. I do believe it is an individual’s choice to smoke or not. But to those I care deeply about, I wish they wouldn’t. Certainly there are many things that are or could be deadly in this life…cigarettes, cars, aspartame, cell phones, …the list goes on. But there is something about this choice to smoke that with this particular individual…I just prayed and prayed they would be able to break the habit. Praise the Lord it happened. And I’m SO PROUD of them!

4.       Piloxing

You might be thinking, “What?” Piloxing is a combination of Pilates, Kickboxing and dance.  I’ve been doing it once a week for three full months now, along with Kickboxing on two nights.  Working out has been a big priority for me the last few months. I have to say, I used to think about being thinner or in better shape. I used to want all of those things but that’s all it would be. I wouldn’t work out, eat healthier or make any change resulting in something I actually desired: a healthier me. But I’ve finally made it a priority. I have to thank the Muncie Y for their “Operation Fit” class which really kick started it for me. I completed 3-4 weeks of ease myself into the idea of working out on a consistent basis. (The class was two nights a week.) When the class was finished, I did a kickboxing class because it fit into my schedule. I LOVED it. Then the bank was offering a free trial experience of Piloxing. It was HARD! But I really enjoyed that too.  Before you know it, I made a commitment to workout Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  I even have added in Yoga on Thursday nights for 45 minutes if I’m available.

I am so proud. Words can’t describe. I have wanted to be healthier but I was depressed about how I looked. I couldn’t seem to just get out of that on my own. Instead, I would just be internally jealous of others who were losing weight or upset at what I looked like in the mirror.  I think the turning point for me was when I noticed my pants fitting differently.  From that moment on, I’ve been a steamroller…and committed. I’m proud of the changes I’ve made thus far. I’ve been eating healthier lunches and making decisions to indulge or not. “Not”never used to be an option.

I should say that it has helped that I have motivation. We’re going on a cruise in June. When I told Adam I was finally ready to make a commitment to be healthier, I said, “I want to be able to go on this trip and be proud of what I look like. I don’t want anything to interrupt a good time with my friends. I don’t want to constantly be thinking about how unattractive or unhealthy I am…or compare myself to anyone else on that ship” I whole-heartedly believe it when people say that you have a better attitude about yourself when you’re working out.  Sure, if I was thinner or a little ‘firmer’ in areas, I’d be a bit more confident in my two piece (who wouldn’t), but I could go today and be happy with my body and where I’ve gotten it to this point. For that, I am happy and thankful.

So, with all that said, I’ve come to the conclusion (not earth shattering) that life is about balance. Everything needs to be in balance: work/play, fruit/junk, joys/struggles…when we achieve balance, there is some accomplishment. There is some assurance that life is never perfect. There will always be challenges and obstacles to face.  But every effort we make to make it better, whether it be through giving back, exercising, eating better, serving, just doing what needs done…it’s all worth it. Being able to reflect back, I can attest to that. 

I’ll leave you with this quote from my calendar of “Women Who Do Too Much”:

“There is something innately beautiful in a woman who knows who she is, where she came from, and accepts it all.”