God's subtle reminders

I've noticed lately how my reading of other blogs and opportunity to expand my own thoughts by blogging have really allowed me to see God's subtle reminders...

A coworker of mine, Lori, and her husband Landon have been in Africa for about 40 days. They have about 20 days left of mission work there.  These two are truly servants of the Lord. They sold furnishings in their house to help them go on this trip. Additionally, they (primarily Lori) took off 2 months of work (and thankfully our employer allowed her to do this.) Landon will be working in the Jay County School Corp this fall. He'll be teaching gym and helping with the at risk kids. One day a week, he'll be at Westlawn where Adam teaches.  I am looking forward to the two of them getting to know one another a little better.

Anyway, they have a blog documenting their time in all of the unique places they've been traveling. Their most recent blog post has a paragraph that captured my heart. It says,

"So we are now in Banfora for the last leg of our journey.  It has been so exciting to see God moving here in Burkina.  At a short stop for a meal at a hotel, Landon was reading his Bible when one of the employees came up to him.  Emmanuel, the worker, asked Landon if he could have his Bible...he had wanted one in English but they are hard to come by here in Burkina.  Landon eagerly handed it over, and Emmanuel said, "When you give someone the gift of the Word of God, you give them everything." That pretty much sums it all up."


Wow. Something as small as an English Bible is the gift that gave a person everything. And one who put all of his hope, his security, his love, his passion...in this book. It reminded me how fortunate I am to have this book  in my grip whenever I want. It's on my phone, we have nearly 5 bibles at home...And yet how much am I relying on this book? I'd like to think I rely on it quite a bit, but in comparison of Emmanuel, I'd say not nearly enough.

I pray I continue to be open to these subtle reminders God has in store for me. Let me be not too busy that I overlook these learning opportunities.

If you care to read the blog from my coworker, here is the link:
http://martinsinburkinafaso.blogspot.com/

I promise you'll be moved.

The Fertility Doctor

After three years of trying to conceive and two years of periodic tests, we've finally been referred to a fertility doctor.  We've been referred to Midwest Fertility Specialists in Carmel. We had our first consultation yesterday evening. 

I have to admit, I was nervous all day. I tried to pray, breathe, think about other things, but I had this incredible sense of concern that the news we'd hear is our next step was a $16,000 procedure. Praise the Lord it was not. 

Thus far in our testing process, we have not had any glaring answers as to why we are not conceiving. I was shocked because after some initial talks, we were told normal people who try to conceive have about an 18% chance of getting pregnant during their cycle. Because we've been trying for so long, our percentage of possibility shrunk all the way to 1%. Incredible right? We've been trying thinking every month is an opportunity...which it is, I believe God can do incredible miracles. But 1%? That's incredibly low. So I'm glad we're headed down this path of getting some help.

Without going into all of the details...(maybe in another post or as they happen) I'll give you the quick recap. So there are a few tests we still need to do. They are all tests on me at this point so over the next 3-4 weeks, we'll get those done. Assuming we have normal results, we'll start some fertility drugs to start 'helping' the process of ovulation and timing to be a well-oiled machine, if you will.

I must say, I really never even imagined I'd be at this place. Everything went so well with the consultation. I mean, I felt there were 'next steps' and some lower cost options for us to try considering at this point we have "unexplained infertility." But everything feels so scientific. It's hard to trust God's plan when the conversations are so scientific. I am gaining some hope and peace, through this process though. Praise God for his comfort there. I am so thankful to have a few select people who are willing to walk through every step of this with me. I have one friend in particular who is dealing with infertility as well. My heart breaks for her as we talk and as I read emails of her processing through these steps. I know God is big enough by how He gently places the right people in our lives at the exact time, with the exact amount of empathy and love that is needed. He's truly provided for me as far as having avenues to communicate to others and be an ear for others through this journey.

So with that said, we're starting this new path on this journey of help with a fertility doctor. I'm looking forward to this process. I pray as always, God provides what we need, when we need it so we can become loving parents to a hopefully God-honoring child. 

Side note: We just finished up a series at church titled "Elijah". Through this, my eyes were opened to how I pray and how oftentimes our prayers are selfish: "provide for me, give me this, help me that..."  But its the extension of that prayer we forget. "Provide for me so I can .....to honor You, Give me this so I can give You the glory, Help me so I can help others see of Your love".

I have made a conscious effort to be aware of this when I pray and if I don't have a way of honoring or glorifying Him, or being His hands and feet and loving others...then I talk to God about why I'm praying for whatever it is. That way I can keep myself in check and make sure that my daily goal is to further the Kingdom and honor Him...rather that what I want in all of this.

Just an ending to this blog will be partial lyrics from Laura Story's "Blessings" - which is the prayer of my heart to fully understand and trust.

"We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?"

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."
Ephesians 3:20-21 The Message


I am learning to trust this promise. Quite a lot has been revealed to me lately and I'm beginning to process it.


Another post will come soon, but for now, I am just thankful that He works within us, meeting us where we are broken, filling us with His strength and transforming us from our inner most core to become new.

Candy

Do you remember Mandy Moore's "Candy"?  I listened to it this morning on Grooveshark.

I love moments when you reminisce and then make you laugh once you realize how silly a song really is.(I'll admit though, I'm keeping it on my playlist...along with "Crazy" by Britney Spears and "Penny and Me" by Hanson)  It's the simple things.

Three things I'm thankful for this morning:

1. Starbucks Skinny Frappuccinos - Lower calories = Less guilt

2. A note of surprise. I usually leave my hubby a list of things he could do each day. It's not a to do list, but he'd rather have a list of things and select one or a few things to do. Instead of a list of things, I just left him a note telling him I appreciated all he does for us, especially the extra 'chores' he does during the summer. He did a few things yesterday I didn't thank him for, so this note will hopefully be a surprise to him and encourage him today.

3. Blake Shelton - He is shedding light on an artist, Dave Barnes, by covering his song "God Gave Me You". He did a good job on the song.  I'm excited for all of the exposure Dave will get and hope it just catapults his success in the music industry. Dave is such a great example of Christ's love and has such a big heart... I'm excited about this.

Blessed day to you.